顶尖大学Johns Hopkins University 认定的优秀文书是这样的，你的能打动Admission吗？

今年申请季正如火如荼地进行着，JHU也在官网上分享了几篇2020年优秀的范文，每一篇都有学校招生委员会的点评，明确指出文章有何出彩之处。下面大家随小编一起欣赏两篇优秀范文，看看顶尖大学青睐的是什么样的文书吧！

Translating My Story Into Words

My eyes widen. “It’s all Greek to me,” I whisper under my breath. Sure enough, The Apology by Plato is in Greek.

My eyes dart across the page, looking for a word or phrase to grasp onto. Unable to find a familiar word, I take a deep breath. The Greek letters jumble into incoherent words and I am left to the mercy of an incomplete translation. I shake my head, unsure of what to do next. My eyes drag from one word to another, heavy with defeat. Upon the sixth word, however, they stop. My initial scan of the text left me negligent of a simple word meaning “number.” Passion overwhelms my senses. “Number” becomes the most important word of the clause, providing context to the adjacent words. I turn to the lexicon and search for words that fit into a coherent translation. With the last word, I feel satisfaction and pride. The whirlwind of emotions repeats: Confusion, passion, satisfaction. Before the bell rings, I finish translating 20 lines of The Apology.

I was fifteen when I successfully translated The Apology, and soon after, I fell in love with translation. Through translation, I learned the value of perseverance and hard work; it even helped me convey ideas in different mediums such as figure skating.

On a bright January morning, cold wind slapped against my face, chastising me for falling again. I stood up and brushed thin sheets of ice off of my knees. A shock of pain went through my body as I lightly touched a new bruise. I contemplated defeat. In the midst of choreographing my next program, I speculated the translation of music into skating. I yearned to convey every pitch and emotion in a visual performance, so I listened to Chopin once again and closed my eyes. Upon hearing the cadenza, I went back on the ice, picked up speed and turned my body. Leaping from the ground, I wrapped my arms around my torso and spun one, two, three times. My body descended and a sharp skid sounded the air. I smiled, waiting in anticipation for the next jump. That day, I translated every note into a jump until my body understood the music.

Translation has become my frame for viewing life and now I am using it to translate passion into activism.

In July 2018, part of my activism was conservation focused. Recognized as a Discovery Guide Leader, I was chosen to lead a Mugwort removal cleanup at Meadow Lake. The tedious logistical process of scheduling a time, obtaining a permit, and learning the proper removal process made July a strenuous month. Still seeking to translate my plan into action, I persevered with the importance of conservation in mind.

Finally, the day came. Twenty pairs of eyes watched me as I pointed out Mugwort along the shore. The hot sun hit my back as I pushed the shovel deeper in the soil. The ground released its hold on the plant and I picked it up by the stem. I walked throughout the shore and helped each person learn the proper removal technique. Together we were able to eliminate 4.2 pounds of Mugwort. I was proud of everyone and myself. I learned the benefits of conservation, translated that knowledge into a productive plan to remove an invasive species, and spread that knowledge by leading my eager group of volunteers.

Despite translating The Apology by Plato years ago, the lessons I learned from translation continue to thrive in my actions today. Just as I translated texts from Greek to English, I will convert more songs into programs, and I will change more plans into action. Although there are still many things in the world that are all Greek to me, I strive to learn and translate my knowledge into action that creates change.

--RACHEL

Admissions Committee Comments

招生委员会点评

Rachel shows effort, resilience, and celebration in the outcomes of her hard work. She provides the admissions committee more insight into her interests (Greek language, figure skating, and conservation) beyond just what was provided in her transcript or activities list. From this essay, we learn about her willingness to work hard and persevere in various endeavors, as well as her ability to plan ahead and guide a group toward a common goal—traits that will come in handy in college.

从这篇文书可以看出Rachel同学努力用功、思维灵活。她提到更多关于她的兴趣方面（希腊语、花样滑冰和自然保护）的见解，而不仅仅是围绕她的成绩单或活动列表中提供的内容。从这篇文章中，我们了解到她愿意努力工作，坚持付出，以及她有能力做出计划并引导一个团队朝着一个共同的目标前进，这在大学里会很有用。

Lessons Learned

I could still hear her words, the words my teacher said as she handed me the packet, “This is a challenge. But I think you’re up for it.” I held the math packet in my hand. On the cover, the title ‘Mission Possible!’ screamed at me. I could feel my fingers tingling, and the goosebumps rolling up my arms. I stared at the black italicized letters of the title as I walked home. They seemed to stare back, alluding to the mysteries that lay underneath them. As soon as I got home, I ran to the top bunk where I slept, grabbed a pencil, and signed a mental contract with the packet: “I, Zerubabel, promise to prioritize you, put you above all else in my life, not rest, and not eat until all the problems that lay in your pages are solved.” I was a pretty dramatic 11-year-old.

This is but one example of the many challenges I’ve faced throughout my life. My love for challenges and the tenacity with which I approach them was instilled in me through observing my family and through my own experiences. Ten years ago, my family and I packed our belongings, sold everything we had, and flew across the Atlantic to our new home in America. During our first year in Minnesota, we were faced with the omnipresent challenge of money. My sister, rather than having the comfort of her crib, was forced to share a bed with my mom and I. My dad was forced to sleep on a makeshift bed my mom made for him every night, using cushions from a torn and scratchy old sofa. My mom was forced to wake up early and stay up late working, at home, and her minimum wage job. My parents never complained. To them, this was just another stage of life, another challenge to overcome. They worked tirelessly-my mom providing stability by maintaining one job while my dad, the creative one, was always switching between multiple in his pursuit for better pay. With each day, the consequences of their hard work showed; one bed became two, the second bed split into a bunk, and within that little room, each of us had a bed to sleep on.

I now reflect on this, and many other challenges my family and I have faced during our ten years in America. I realize that it is through observing how my parents never slowed down that I learned the value of perseverance, through watching my mom’s devotion to a single job that I learned the value of commitment, through my dad’s consistent job switches that I learned the value of ambition, and through observing my sisters willingness to live with less that I learned the value of sacrifice. Through my own experiences, I learned I can apply these values and overcome any challenge that comes my way. My 11-year-old self figured this out after a grueling two months of working on the packet, finishing with all the questions answered.

Throughout my time in middle and high school, my value of ambition has led me to take the most challenging courses available at my school. In my community, my value of commitment has allowed me to serve at my church for the past five years. These learned values have molded me into the person I am today and will continue to guide me as I pursue my goals in life. It is because of these values and the way they were instilled in me that I have decided to pursue a career as a surgeon; I know it is through the guidance of these values and the people who first showed them to me that I will be able to achieve this goal.

--ZERUBABEL

Admissions Committee Comments

招生委员会点评

In his essay, Zerubabel shares with the admissions committee the values he has learned from observing his family members. Zerubabel connects these observations to how he applies his values of ambition and commitment to everyday life. Through his reflection and analysis, the admissions committee is able to understand how Zerubabel would contribute his personal qualities and skills to our campus community.

在他的文章中，Zerubabel同学与招生委员会分享了他从观察家庭成员中学到的价值观。Zerubabel将他观察到的东西与其自身的志向结合起来运用到日常生活中。通过他的反思和分析，招生委员会能够理解Zerubabel将如何为我们的校园社区贡献他的个人素质和技能。

约翰斯·霍普金斯大学（Johns Hopkins University），简称Hopkins或JHU，成立于1876年，是一所世界顶级的著名私立大学，美国第一所研究型大学，也是北美学术联盟美国大学协会（AAU）的14所创始校之一。美国国家科学基金会连续33年将该校列为全美科研经费开支最高的大学。霍普金斯主校区位于美国马里兰州巴尔的摩市，分校区位于美国首都华盛顿特区，并在南京大学、意大利博洛尼亚设有教学校区。

排名情况

国内大学排名

美国新闻与世界报道（U.S. News）：

2020U.S. News美国最佳大学排名第10位

福布斯（Forbes）：

2019福布斯美国大学排行榜第22位

全球大学排名

U.S. News:

2020U.S. News世界大学排名第11位

2014年10月，美国新闻与世界报道（U.S. News）第一次联合英国汤森路透集团发布的2015全球大学排名中，霍普金斯位列世界第11，美国第9。

ARWU:

2020软科世界大学学术排名第15位

THE：

2021泰晤士高等教育世界大学排名第12位

QS：

2021QS世界大学排名第25位

MosIUR：

2019莫斯科国际大学排名第27位

2020莫斯科国际大学排名第13位

霍普金斯大学不仅拥有全球顶级的医学院、公共卫生学院、国际关系学院，其生物工程、空间科学、社会与人文科学、金融经济、音乐艺术等领域的卓越成就也名扬世界。

·该校医学院的教学研究单位约翰斯·霍普金斯医院（JHH）连续21年被评为全美最佳医院。

·学校尼采高级国际研究学院（SAIS）培养出美国国务卿奥尔布赖特、财政部长盖特纳、世界银行行长埃因霍、中国驻美大使崔天凯、冰岛总理哈尔德、荷兰外交部长柯恩德、财政部长霍格沃斯等一大批杰出校友。

·该校的应用物理实验室（APL）是美国近代物理学人才的摇篮，同时也是美国国防部的合同商，哈勃空间望远镜和詹姆斯·韦伯太空望远镜的地面控制中心。

·在摩根财团创始人的资助下，霍普金斯诞生了美国第一所且最负盛名的音乐学院。

在学术方面，霍普金斯是美国最为严格的学校之一。

作为一所注重研究的学校，霍普金斯大学对培养学生的分析和理解能力十分重视。不同于众多的美国研究型大学，霍普金斯大学在本科三年级阶段就要求学生选择课题，从事研究工作。所有理、工、文、商科学生都被强烈鼓励参加科研项目，让学生较早就接触、了解和掌握前沿学科的最新动态。约80%的本科生在校四年期间从事过至少一项独立研究，并且很多时候是与该领域的顶尖研究者合作。

为了确保学生有机会参与不同学科的研究项目，霍普金斯大学采取了两条有力的措施。一、把各学科的班级控制在不超过50名学生的范围之内，为师生的交流，为老师指导学生提供足够的便利。在师生人数比例1：6的情况下，霍普金斯大学有足够的一流教授在课堂上和实验室里与学生一起探讨问题，一起寻求真理。二、是充分利用霍普金斯大学的学术威望和校友关系，为学生争取在著名实验室、医院、公司和政府机构的科研和实习机会，使他们尽早了解现实世界对他们的期望所在，同时又为学生们发挥潜能创造理想的条件。霍普金斯大学的工学院、医学院、公共卫生学院、商学院，以及国际关系学院的学生在这方面尤其受益。

ED II申请：

申请材料提交截止日期：2021.1.4

包含：线上申请信息（Coalition/ Common Application及补充文书）、申请费、签署早决定协议、推荐信、成绩单、老师评价信、SAT/ACT成绩（可选提交）、TOEFL/IELTS/Duolingo/Cambridge English Exam成绩、资金证明

中期报告提交截止日期：2021.2中旬

常规申请：

申请材料提交截止日期：2021.1.4

包含：线上申请信息（Coalition/ Common Application及补充文书）、申请费、推荐信、成绩单、老师评价信、SAT/ACT成绩（可选提交）、TOEFL/IELTS/Duolingo/Cambridge English Exam成绩、资金证明

中期报告提交截止日期：2021.2中旬