埃默里大学（Emory University）--有“新常春藤”“南方哈佛”之美誉的美国小班制本科精英教育代表院校之一

今天为大家分享埃默里大学（Emory University）去年优秀申请者的个人陈述，一份优秀的个人陈述可以涉及到各种话题，但最终是展示了学生的性格、好奇心和声音。学校招生人员也说明了这些申请脱颖而出的原因。

Explore Your Side of an Issue

Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

I tap my red pen inattentively against the draft sitting before me. After some silent musing, I finally drag a line of ink through a phrase and reword it in small, loopy letters above. As a final thought, I circle the space between two words. My writer forgot the Oxford comma. Again.

The Oxford comma is the comma used after the penultimate item in a list. I learned about this majestic piece of punctuation at an early age and wondered how anyone could advocate against it. How could anything that adds so much clarity, while requiring so little effort, be controversial? When I joined my school’s newspaper in sophomore year and learned that AP style does not use the comma, I was shocked. Therefore, when I became Managing Editor my senior year, my first initiative was reinstating it.

Others might find this to be a trivial concern, but you know what they say about the devil: he lives in the details. It is part of my personal philosophy that details are the most essential part of any plan or project; they are what separates the bad from the good, and the good from the great. Details are vital to my work as a copy editor. Occasionally, writers groan when they hear that I will be the one editing their story, but that’s how you know you’re doing a good job.

An effective copy editor will do more than correct punctuation: they’ll detect structural problems and predict questions that readers will ask so the writer can answer them. Writers may not love having to make so many changes, but they finish the news cycle with a product they are proud of.

My attention to details, like that elusive comma, does more than make me a good worker: it makes me a good communicator. I listen carefully to people, to details, and I think they matter. I like to share my own opinions through writing and photography, but more than that, I like to share the stories of others. This past summer, I had the opportunity to meet a number of community workers and write about them for the regional newspaper. I got to meet and tell the stories of a couple who owned one of the last free community pools and taught kids to swim without taking out a salary, and a woman in her twenty-second year of running a volunteer event which grants underprivileged children access to new clothes and school supplies. Being able to give these local heroes the spotlight they deserved was more rewarding than I could have ever expected.

What makes me unique is that I don’t just notice details, I care about them. I think clarity of communication is the most vital and most neglected aspect of a functional society. That is why I believe journalism and communication are important. You can’t move someone who is stuck in their ways by spouting facts and figures at them. You convince people by telling stories, stories that appeal to our shared humanity.

Reporting is community building, and we definitely need more of that in this day and age. By listening to details and sharing observations, I can sometimes help two people who were not able to find common ground see past their differences. I believe this is an important part of being on the newspaper staff and even of being a good friend. And that is why I care about communication, and by extension, the Oxford comma

Feedback from Admission Staff

招生人员点评

As admission advisors, we sometimes like to think of applications as a story. Each piece of the application – transcript, essays, letters of recommendation – come together to give an in-depth example of whom each student is and what stimulates them both personally and academically.

It was clear through this student’s application that journalism and storytelling are a passion. They were able to utilize something as mundane as the Oxford comma controversy to contextualize their strengths and elaborate on two meaningful experiences — as managing editor of their school newspaper and as an intern for the local newspaper. They do not simply list their accomplishments like the resume they have already provided or tell a singular story to explain their point. They seamlessly weave a narrative using the Oxford comma resulting in the student’s interests coming to life.

This essay helps us as an admission committee gains a greater understanding of the applicant as a whole. Without this essay, this student’s story would be incomplete.

作为招生顾问，我们有时喜欢把申请当成一个故事来看。申请材料的每一部分集中在一起，包括成绩单、文书、推荐信，深入展示了每个学生是谁，是什么样的性格以及学术表现。

通过这个学生的申请可以很明显地看出，这位同学对新闻学和讲故事有很大的兴趣。他们能够利用一些像牛津逗号这样平凡的东西来阐述自己的优势，并详细阐述了两个有意义的经历——作为校报的总编辑和当地报纸的实习生。他们不会简单地列出获得的成就，比如他们已经提供的简历，或者讲述一个简单的故事来解释他们的观点。他们用牛津逗号无缝地串起了一个故事，使学生的兴趣活了起来。

作为招生委员会的一员，这篇文章有助于我们更好地了解申请人。没有这篇文章，这个学生的故事就不完整了。

Recount Challenging Events

Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, please share your story.

For the first three years of my life, my name was not Omar. In secret it was, but in secret was no way to live. To the world, I was decidedly to be a stranger to my own name. In public my family called me by a name eerily similar to mine: “Ammar.” I cried out and corrected them each time, only to be slapped on the mouth and sternly ordered to bite my tongue. Eyes wickedly stared on from behind the shadows, and slowly our public outings became less and less frequent, until my every request to play outside was decisively denied. I whined and begged, but the decision was as unyielding as their towering stance above me.

Only years later would I come to understand that they were merely protecting me from the encompassing shadows stalking behind. Only then would I come to understand the extent of the bitter religious clash between Islam’s two branches, Sunni and Shia.

Following the fall of Iraq in 2003, tensions turned deadly and rules ceased. Several names of religious significance effectively became death sentences. My name was one of those death sentences. I was marked by a conflict I was too young to comprehend.

Uncertainty turned to fear when the looming threat of violence came in the form of a death threat to my father. Soon, family and community members became targets of an inconceivable evil; a friend of the family was murdered for aiding displaced Sunni Iraqis; a bombing rocked my brother’s school and shattered his innocence into a million shards. We were targets, and my identity was a possible catalyst provoking evil into harming those protecting me from wicked eyes.

My family decided that remaining in Iraq was no longer an option. So, one day in 2006, under the cover of night, we took what little possessions we could carry into our cars and fled across the border. When complete disorder and conflict led to intensified bloodshed, our hopes of one day returning to our homeland were dashed and left broken.

Jordan became our new refuge; my name was returned to me, yet in the chaos and uncertainty, I had lost my country and people. I traded my home for a refuge. My accent, alien to the other children, drew in laughter. My nationality, different and frowned upon, resulted in new pairs of condescending eyes which gazed beyond my humanity towards my parents’ lives. Their grueling toil generated minimal income as perceptions of refugees engendered no empathy among the hiring class. I had within my grasp my own name, my identity, yet I felt more like a stranger than when I donned another name.

Ammar was human, I was not. Ammar had a home, I lost mine. Here, I had none but my family and they had none but me.

Years of acting out at home and school passed. Yet in 2013, a phone call from our cousins in America fundamentally changed my life: “Your UN file got accepted!” cheery faces announced, “We will be seeing you in a week.” The sheer excitement I felt at that moment was only contrasted with the sadness that overcame me two days before departure: sadness of a life unfinished. I had to move. Again.

Relocation had once disturbed my pursuit for identity. Now it does nothing short of offer me an opportunity to explore a future in which I set what defines my character.

We landed. On our way from the airport, I rested my head onto the window of the van and dreamed of what I hoped to accomplish. Despite the perversions suffered in Iraq and Jordan, I adapted. I can do it again. Yes, I lost my country and identity, but America gave me back both. I am about to become a US citizen: like Ammar, I now have a home – a home that is founded on identity and community.

Feedback from Admission Staff

招生人员点评

I have always advised students that sharing their stories, whether positive or challenging, should always be shared in their most honest voice. Many themes come to the light in this personal statement: nationality, diversity, honesty, adaptability, change but most importantly, hope and optimism. This statement is heartfelt, but not overwhelmingly emotional. It takes the reader on a global journey that introduces challenging experiences while also reminding us the value of a second chance. The author of this personal statement showed that vulnerability and courage will never go out of style and at the end of the day, we all want a chance to start over.

我一直建议学生们分享他们的故事，无论是积极的还是富有挑战性的，都应该用最诚实的声音来分享。在这篇个人陈述中，有许多主题被揭示出来：民族性、多样性、诚实、适应性、变化，但最重要的是，希望和乐观。这句话是发自肺腑的，但并非情绪化。它带着读者踏上了一个全球性的旅程，介绍了富有挑战性的经历，同时也提醒我们第二次机会的价值。这篇个人声明的作者表明，脆弱和勇气永远不会过时，归根结底，我们都希望有机会重新开始。

埃默里大学（Emory University)，建于1836年，世界顶尖私立研究型大学，美国大学协会成员，是美国小班制本科精英教育代表院校之一，有“新常春藤”的美誉，曾产出24名罗德学者，被誉为“南方哈佛”。埃默里本科录取竞争十分激烈，2019年本科录取率为15%。学校师生比例高达1:7，教授给予学生极多的关注与交流，美国前总统卡特为本校荣誉教授，每年都演讲并亲自答新生问。

埃默里大学位于美国佐治亚州南方第一大城市亚特兰大，国际商业大财团可口可乐注入巨额资本奠定了埃默里世界级学术殿堂的地位。校园被大片森林覆盖，建筑皆为意大利古典风格，采用昂贵的大理石建成，仿佛置身美丽的南欧，体现埃默里优雅的名门气质。

埃默里曾达到全美综合排名第9，居于2019泰晤士高等教育-华尔街日报美国大学综合排名第20名，其中商学院的本科课程在彭博社本科商学院排名第15，在U.S. News排名中，罗琳斯公共卫生学院排名第5，曾收治美国第一例埃博拉病人的医学院全球排名第22，护理学院第4，理疗与医师助理第五，商学院第23、法学院第26，与佐治亚理工学院（Georgia Tech）Coulter联合本科生物医学工程全美第3。此外，埃默里在几乎所有其开设的学科领域皆位列全美前30。

埃默里列2020莫斯科国际大学排名第66，2020 THE世界大学排名第80，2021 QS世界大学排名第158，2020 U.S. News世界大学排名第71。

学校的研究成果在全美名列前茅，所提供的学位覆盖文理、商学、法律、神学及医学专业。 学生乐于探索学校的传统及秘密，同时，还有数百种学生社团供学生选择参加。 学校可以为学生提供很多的国际经验，五分之二的本科生有机会出国留学，四分之三的学生享受助学金。学校与牛津大学，伦敦政治经济学院，东京大学，香港大学等国际知名院校有着紧密联系，每年都有着大量的出国交流机会。

埃默里的大学校园一年四季都十分漂亮，校园内拥有一个国家级自然保护区，风景秀丽，气候宜人。在由全美最佳大学网评选出的全美最美五十所大学中，埃默里排名第六，是所有综合排名前三十的学校中排位最高的。（哈佛大学排名11，斯坦佛大学排名十九，耶鲁大学排名第二十四。）正因为校园优美，埃默里大学还被多部知名美剧及电影选为外景拍摄地。（如：《吸血鬼日记》（The Vampire Diaries），《哈拉上路》（Road Trip）， 《美女上错身》 （drop dead diva），《行尸走肉》（The Walking Dead））

埃默里大学的教学特点是崇尚小班授课，与教授的交流更为紧密。与大型公立学校动辄三四百人的大课不同，埃默里大学百分之八十的课学生人数少于20人，百分之九十五的课学生人数少于50人。因此，所有的教授和学生之间都是一个紧密的整体，同学之间互相熟识，教授也非常容易了解自己课上学生的情况，做到亦师亦友。利用小班教学这一优势，埃默里大学本科的文理教育（Liberal Arts Education）一直享誉全美，得到广泛认可。

埃默里大学拥有世界级的教学团队和教授资源，百分之九十九的教职员工拥有该领域的最高学历（博士或以上）。有埃默里的学子曾戏称：“就连我们的PE teacher(体育老师）都是常春藤的博士！”学校主要强调各学科间的跨领域学习与实务的解决方法。毕业生在离校后可以顺利的在各领域找到称心的工作，开始各自的职业生涯，也可以在全国领先的研究性机构或专业院校继续深造。

埃默里大学商学院和公共卫生学院在美国数一数二，法学院在美国法学院排名中也一直位于前列。另外，它的英语、心理学、政治和历史系，都非常优秀。在学生中，最多人修读的科目要算生物及化学，由此可见，生物和化学学科的实力也十分深厚。

申请要求：

国际学生语言要求：

学生可以通过以下任一标准证明其对英语语言的掌握情况：

1、   SAT阅读和写作部分700+

2、   ACT英语部分30+

3、   最近四年在英语为所有学科教学语言的学校就读

如果学生不符合以上标准，需要提交下列附加考试之一。三者中只有一个必须提交。

TOEFL 100+/ IELTS 7.5+/Duolingo